Monica Dayakar - "The Enlightened One"

 

 "The Enlightened One"...

The number of times that I've been told... So if you've understood this...( whaaaaaaaat ) 😜... 

oh wait... even  funnier... if you're so realised... 

then all the more reason you should or shouldn't be such and such... or so and so like...
Heart-breaking... really...
Tears...
It would be funny really... if it weren't so sad...
It makes me weep...
When the applecart upturns... and the world begins to spin out of control... and the threat looms large of no grip on the handlebars...
The fear of losing it all can really feel like being self threatening...
Like your life depends on it...
That's cause it does...
That fear of free falling...
Their palpable fear of an out of control world... 

felt so acutely here as well... and its accompanying pain...
Knowing fully well that there's nothing I can do...
Hugging them tight with my arms around them...
Even if its in my heart...
Loving them...
'Cause most times they physically put up invisible iron barriers tha shut them in...
In an attempt to keep themselves safe...
They shut all love and light out...
So nothing goes out and nothing comes in...
Even as I watch all their attempts to numb the pain...
And yet I sing... sing... sing...
And songs flow through me...
Constantly...
Of this love divine...
And everyone's stories become your story... un-owned...
Its more like the last hope fading...
Most confuse saintly behaviour and are confounded 

with what they deem to be appropriate behaviour 

of who they look upon as a "supposed sage"...
The "sage-y" ness... itself a mentally fabricated myth...
When there's not even nothing there...
Yes I see a lot posting on fb that if all your "karma" acts weren't cleared up and the soul ( 😜 ) purified... ( whatever the heck that means...😂 ) and if the s*** didn't smell of lavender 

( sorry but there's no polite way of putting this 😜 ) ... you get the drift!!
All escape routes of being human... shut...
And endless efforts to transcend the dream...
Scratching at imaginary walls...
Till your nails bleed...
Ideas of enlightenment...
Forget enlightenment...
Ideas of how life should be...
More ideas of perfection...
No pain... no suffering... no sickness... no death...
Even when we see it staring us in the face...
Blissed out... 24×7...
Happy... happy... happy...
Chasing your own tail...
Endlessly...
Tears...
"It's all prison kid...."~~MM
Some behavioural patterns drop away of their own accord 

as beliefs crash and fall and are seen through...
And yet we remain...
Yes... the self remains...
Tears...
Oh how I tried to get rid of the mirage...
The mirage once seen as a mirage... needn't go away...
Such a misperception...
There was nothing there in the first place...
And here we are...
It took years to get used to...
A couple of decades... really... as the fullness seeped in...
At its own sweet pace... lol...
It's simply a conceptual idea people have in their heads....

that there's a "you"... or a "them"... that is this or that or the other...
Some even start to get angry about it...
As they can't understand it...
And can't stand that feeling...
And there is fear...
That accompanies the slipping handholds...
When the mind finds itself unable to grasp what is seen as its life line...
And the mind can't grasp this emptiness...
Or wrap its clinging tentacles around this no-thingness...
It is the grasping...
And without it...
It is not...
And fears its own demise...
And yet I feel their pain...
And hear the call for love...
In the unsaid words... of... 
If you were such and such...
Or not so and so...
Then I'd not feel what I feel...
And be other than who I'm being...
Tears...
And love simply flows...
Even as I know...
That there's nothing anyone can do to manipulate or improve the dream...
There's simply nothing and no one there to defend...
And cannot be grasped with the mind...
No person gets realised...
It truly is an empty bauble...
Under the mental fabrication there's not even nothing there...
And yet this is the only place a you or me exist...
And live and love and dance and sing...
And yes that is the realization...
Yes... we've heard it always said... "the enlightened one"...
Whether in reference to the Buddha... Krishna... or the Christ...
All the references made by those who believe themselves to be a person... 

and hence the other as well...
I did too at first... when I sat at the feet of the guru...
When the solidity of this falls through... the belief in a person... 

here or there falls away too...
There was simply no one there... or here...
And yet the self continues...
Looking back... I wouldn't have changed a thing...
Not that I could have... lol...
The beauty of even the quest... like a rose bud unfolding...
Simply...
This...
This...
This...
Tears...

~~Monica Dayakar
~~13/03/2017

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