Saturday, April 13, 2019

Jeff Foster- Once...

 "Once, I ran from fear
so fear controlled me.
Until I learned to hold fear like a newborn.
Listen to it, but not give in.
Honour it, but not worship it.
Fear could not stop me anymore.
I walked with courage into the storm.
I still have fear,
but it does not have me.

Once, I was ashamed of who I was.
I invited shame into my heart.
I let it burn.
It told me, "I am only trying
to protect your vulnerability".
I thanked shame dearly,
and stepped into life anyway,
unashamed, with shame as a lover.

Once, I had great sadness
buried deep inside.
I invited it to come out and play.
I wept oceans. My tear ducts ran dry.
And I found joy right there.
Right at the core of my sorrow.
It was heartbreak that taught me how to love.

Once, I had anxiety.
A mind that wouldn't stop.
Thoughts that wouldn't be silent.
So I stopped trying to silence them.
And I dropped out of the mind,
and into the Earth.
Into the mud.
Where I was held strong
like a tree, unshakeable, safe.

Once, anger burned in the depths.
I called anger into the light of myself.
I felt its shocking power.
I let my heart pound and my blood boil.
Listened to it, finally.
And it screamed, "Respect yourself fiercely now!".
"Speak your truth with passion!".
"Say no when you mean no!".
"Walk your path with courage!".
"Let no one speak for you!"
Anger became an honest friend.
A truthful guide.
A beautiful wild child.

Once, loneliness cut deep.
I tried to distract and numb myself.
Ran to people and places and things.
Even pretended I was "happy".
But soon I could not run anymore.
And I tumbled into the heart of loneliness.
And I died and was reborn
into an exquisite solitude and stillness.
That connected me to all things.
So I was not lonely, but alone with All Life.
My heart One with all other hearts.

Once, I ran from difficult feelings.
Now, they are my advisors, confidants, friends,
and they all have a home in me,
and they all belong and have dignity.
I am sensitive, soft, fragile,
my arms wrapped around all my inner children.
And in my sensitivity, power.
In my fragility, an unshakeable Presence.

In the depths of my wounds,
in what I had named “darkness”,
I found a blazing Light
that guides me now in battle.

I became a warrior
when I turned towards myself.

And started listening."


Tuesday, April 9, 2019

Nancy Neithercut - Utterly spontaneous.....

....and suddenly....or over time....we realize that there is no special way to be.... no special thoughts to have.... no special emotions...
......and we bask in the sun of utter rest.... nothing needing to be done..., was simply a misperception....

...and late afternoon sun streams through the windows ....reflecting on random motes of dust that dance and swirl in un-traceable patterns.....
.....and when life is realized to be ungraspable .... nameless....... there is utter relaxation in enjoying the dance.....
there is no where to go
Nothing to get
......and no longer is it felt that there is any separation between others or 'things'....
... there is no longer the need to find. To define... it's like if I move here, everything dances with me...
I move my hand in the sunlight and it is space and hand and light all moving together......
it never feels like there is someone doing anything
there are no things
nothing needed to be pinpointed... or caught... effortlessly happening....

....and just as the sun cannot choose to shine or not.....or the moon reflect its light.... or our eyes to see ....we cannot choose our likes and dislikes....... or with whom we fall in love... it is seamless streaming... a dance.....without time nor non time
......utterly spontaneous.....