Looking For Each other
I have been looking for you, World Honored One,
since I was a little child.
.
With my first breath, I heard your call,
and began to look for you, Blessed One.
.
I've walked so many perilous paths,
confronted so many dangers,
endured despair, fear, hopes, and memories.
.
I've trekked to the farthest regions, immense and wild,
sailed the vast oceans, traversed the highest summits,
lost among the clouds.
.
I've lain dead, utterly alone,
on the sands of ancient deserts.
I've held in my heart so many tears of stone.
.
Blessed One, I've dreamed of drinking dewdrops
that sparkle with the light of far-off galaxies.
.
I've left footprints on celestial mountains
and screamed from the depths of Avici Hell,
exhausted, crazed with despair
because I was so hungry, so thirsty.
.
For millions of lifetimes,
I've longed to see you,
but didn't know where to look.
.
Yet, I've always felt your presence with a mysterious certainty.
.
I know that for thousands of lifetimes,
you and I have been one,
and the distance between us is only a flash of thought.
.
Just yesterday while walking alone,
I saw the old path strewn with Autumn leaves,
and the brilliant moon, hanging over the gate,
suddenly appeared like the image of an old friend.
.
And all the stars confirmed that you were there!
.
All night, the rain of compassion continued to fall,
while lightning flashed through my window
and a great storm arose,
as if Earth and Sky were in battle.
.
Finally in me the rain stopped, the clouds parted.
The moon returned, shining peacefully, calming Earth and Sky.
.
Looking into the mirror of the moon, suddenly I saw myself,
and I saw you smiling, Blessed One.
.
How strange!
The moon of freedom has returned to me,
everything I thought I had lost.
.
From that moment on,
and in each moment that followed,
I saw that nothing had gone.
There is nothing that should be restored.
.
Every flower, every stone, and every leaf recognize me.
.
Wherever I turn, I see you smiling
the smile of no-birth and no-death.
.
The smile I received while looking at the mirror of the moon.
.
I see you sitting there, solid as Mount Meru,
calm as my own breath, sitting as though
no raging fire storm ever occurred,
sitting in complete peace and freedom.
.
At last I have found you, Blessed One,
and I have found myself.
There I sit.
.
The deep blue sky,
the snow-capped mountains painted against the horizon,
and the shining red sun sing with joy.
.
You, Blessed One, are my first love.
.
The love that is always present,
always pure, and freshly new.
.
And I shall never need a love that will be called “last.”
.
You are the source of well-being, flowing through numberless troubled lives, the water from your spiritual stream always pure, as it was in the beginning.
.
You are the source of peace,
solidity, and inner freedom.
You are the Buddha, the Tathagata.
.
With my one-pointed mind
I vow to nourish your solidity and freedom in myself
so I can offer solidity and freedom to countless others,
now and forever.
I have been looking for you, World Honored One,
since I was a little child.
.
With my first breath, I heard your call,
and began to look for you, Blessed One.
.
I've walked so many perilous paths,
confronted so many dangers,
endured despair, fear, hopes, and memories.
.
I've trekked to the farthest regions, immense and wild,
sailed the vast oceans, traversed the highest summits,
lost among the clouds.
.
I've lain dead, utterly alone,
on the sands of ancient deserts.
I've held in my heart so many tears of stone.
.
Blessed One, I've dreamed of drinking dewdrops
that sparkle with the light of far-off galaxies.
.
I've left footprints on celestial mountains
and screamed from the depths of Avici Hell,
exhausted, crazed with despair
because I was so hungry, so thirsty.
.
For millions of lifetimes,
I've longed to see you,
but didn't know where to look.
.
Yet, I've always felt your presence with a mysterious certainty.
.
I know that for thousands of lifetimes,
you and I have been one,
and the distance between us is only a flash of thought.
.
Just yesterday while walking alone,
I saw the old path strewn with Autumn leaves,
and the brilliant moon, hanging over the gate,
suddenly appeared like the image of an old friend.
.
And all the stars confirmed that you were there!
.
All night, the rain of compassion continued to fall,
while lightning flashed through my window
and a great storm arose,
as if Earth and Sky were in battle.
.
Finally in me the rain stopped, the clouds parted.
The moon returned, shining peacefully, calming Earth and Sky.
.
Looking into the mirror of the moon, suddenly I saw myself,
and I saw you smiling, Blessed One.
.
How strange!
The moon of freedom has returned to me,
everything I thought I had lost.
.
From that moment on,
and in each moment that followed,
I saw that nothing had gone.
There is nothing that should be restored.
.
Every flower, every stone, and every leaf recognize me.
.
Wherever I turn, I see you smiling
the smile of no-birth and no-death.
.
The smile I received while looking at the mirror of the moon.
.
I see you sitting there, solid as Mount Meru,
calm as my own breath, sitting as though
no raging fire storm ever occurred,
sitting in complete peace and freedom.
.
At last I have found you, Blessed One,
and I have found myself.
There I sit.
.
The deep blue sky,
the snow-capped mountains painted against the horizon,
and the shining red sun sing with joy.
.
You, Blessed One, are my first love.
.
The love that is always present,
always pure, and freshly new.
.
And I shall never need a love that will be called “last.”
.
You are the source of well-being, flowing through numberless troubled lives, the water from your spiritual stream always pure, as it was in the beginning.
.
You are the source of peace,
solidity, and inner freedom.
You are the Buddha, the Tathagata.
.
With my one-pointed mind
I vow to nourish your solidity and freedom in myself
so I can offer solidity and freedom to countless others,
now and forever.
.