Belle Heywood - Broken open heart

photo Sergey Tsvetkov

 And softly, after a long silence
that went on and on for days,
the Beloved said:

I would secret you,
I would hide you away in the forest
but the world needs you
the world needs to see your broken open heart
and spending your life
hidden in the forest
would be to hide from the world a great gift.

the world needs to see you
even if they don't know they see you
the world needs to be around your broken open heart
and the lack of veils on your eyes

I said to Beloved:
i feel like Mira:
Unable to live on the earth,
Mira ventured out alone in the sky ....

But I turned to the people and said:
i admire all of you who can walk the streets of this world
with your head held up.

all who can take in all the detritis of delusion
with a cheerful smile or even the joy of participation.

is it your wisdom or your ignorance that keeps you in the word, my dear?
for each one of you it will be a different answer and a different story.

I am not of this world,
and each step in it is a painful step through a dream i can't awaken from.

I have retreated from this world since i first went to 'school'.
So shocked by the cruelty and attachment and politics in human hearts,
i sought refuge in the sky and the trees and the Dharma.

My Guru knows only All Pervasive Joy
and invites us all to realization of
No Problem,

when will i wake from this nightmarish experience of all the suffering
in the world and meet my Guru where He is?

Am i being cooked for this union
or am i nowhere near His Pot and wandering far from home?

Maybe I'm going to find the One who is Sad,
I know She or He is sitting somewhere on a Hill -
weeping constantly
howling about this filthy world

I'm going to sit at Her Feet
and let her tears fall on my head.

I'm going to whisper,
yes i know..
and I'm going to thank Her for not
being a Happy Buddha,

I'm going to ask Her what I need to do.
She is widely proclaimed as being Enlightened too-
just as enlightened as those Blissful Ones.

And the Beloved said:
Exactly so, exactly so
and this is why I will not let you hide for your whole life
in the forest or the sky
the world needs your broken-open heart....

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