Tuesday, July 28, 2020

Nancy Neithercut - This seamlessness of which I sing...



I am not enlightened.
No one is enlightened....
No one in the history of mankind has ever become enlightened.
If part of enlightenment is the realization that the self is imaginary, how could an illusion recognize that it is illusion?

Enlightenment is a profound shift in perspective that occurs in the brain, when it is realized that the world of this and that and things, and selves, and time, is its own mental fabrication, that ALL separation is imaginary.
This is not the end of the dream of objectified separation, actually enlightenment is the dream as well, as it requires imaginary separation to recognize unicity. It requires imaginary separation for the awareness of of aliveness... the awareness of awareness...

When imaginary separation is no longer believed, there is no longer the FEELING of there being separate things... or events... it is a life free from hope and fear and need of an imaginary next. It is a life of awe and joy of simply being...

When the self is recognized to be illusion, the dream does not end... self does not disappear... It is known that this mentally fabricated worded world is the only world we exist in, that we are the dream, that there is no outside to the dream, as inside and outside, like all this and that is made up. This is it, Coyote. This is it, what ever it looks and feels like.

It never feels like life is happening to a someone or that a someone is doing life. It is known that no one including yourself is the instigator of their belief or feeling or thought or action... that we are all a swirling thought collage of belief and preference and memory....
I cannot find anything or anyone here... or there
We exist only as reflections in each other's beautiful eyes...
We are the portals through which love and beauty enter the universe...

It feels like a constant falling in love
like a continuous union of what was never apart
returning over and over to a home you never left
a recognition that the walls you were trying to escape, the self, is the greatest gift of all.

That all separation is illusion doesn't mean the physical world does not exist. Some imaginary things refer to the physical world, like bodies and rocks and mountains. Some imaginary things are purely imaginary like selves and tomorrow. Knowing that you and I and love are made up is not the end of love....
it is the beginning...

it is colors and shapes... flowing... never caught, but seemingly held in the imaginary net of words, like color and shape... and movement...

It is a wind ballet of wind in wind
sky in sky
light in light
space in space
everything in everything
nothing in nothing....

It is far more wondrous than I could have ever wished for or believed or imagined... yet it has always been on, simply never noticed.... and as this unicity is always the case, it cannot and need not be brought about anew.

No one knows how this profound shift occurs, but it seems to happen despite all the things people try to do to get it... as it cannot be got. It is an empty prize for no one.
It is not a goal or achievement. All trying to do something or not do anything perpetuates the illusion of a doer, and a goal to reach, like trying to capture the ripples in a pond, all that happens is your hand makes more ripples...

Yet it may happen that the path collapses, the ground collapses and every idea of a goal to reach and someone to reach it collapse. It is a ripping and shredding of all you have assumed to be true about yourself and the world including all ideas about enlightenment and truth and meaning and non meaning... and It hurts like hell because these are the imaginary lines that define you.

It is the end of belief in belief. It is like dancing on the edge of a feather between love and nothing at all.

In love as love through love
neither full nor empty
life doing itself
utterly spontaneously
just like this

If you are looking for something called enlightenment, you will find a teacher or method or practice that confirms the beliefs you already have about enlightenment.
The most common ones would be that enlightenment happens to the person, that it is something that is achieved by a path or a method, that it is a belief or understanding, or that it is something you can get, or that it is something that can be taught or learned or given away.
What do you think enlightenment is? Where did you get all those ideas about it? Why do you want it?
Do you imagine that is it escape from your thoughts feelings and actions or beliefs... and escape from your troubles and woes and escape from your beautiful human-ness?
Do you think that it is finding that you are not this little self but in fact you are something far more grand.... a big self or pure consciousness or awareness or even... God?
Do you think it is about becoming a perfect person... selfless?
If so, you will find teachers that confirm this and you will be on a path ...forever trying to improve yourself ....forever trying to fix that what you feel is broken. All of these methods will confirm that you are broken, that there is something wrong with you, and that you must do something or cease from doing other things in order to get this elusive goal of imaginary perfection.

I know without a doubt that you are beautiful beyond belief just as you think you are. I know that you are not broken or flawed in any way. I know you can never see that...
No one can see their own beauty...
And I weep
I weep when I see you scratching at the walls that define you
Trying to escape the most beautiful gift in the universe... yourself

I’ve heard some teachers say that they are awake to what is going on, and that that is rare.
However, everyone is awake to what’s going on, as there is no separate observer from perception.
There is an infinite array of sensorial input, and attention rests where it does, seemingly including some of it, and seemingly excluding the rest. It is recognized by everyone that they have actually been aware of things in their side vision, so to speak.
The brain evolved to have attention roam and to constantly scan and look for things that would help the organism survive and reproduce.
Many teachers will tell you to focus your attention, as if there is a you who had attention, on certain things, like the space between breaths or the breath itself or the space between thought or thought itself.
Any feeling that you are trying to do this or that you are accomplishing it will only perpetuate the painful illusion that there is a separate you who is an observer of and is separate from breath or thought.
If you feel successful in these endeavors then it will solidify this illusion of a separate you, and separate things called breaths or thoughts.
For this seamlessness of which I sing cannot be focused on!
After the shift it is recognized that it was always on, and yet rarely noticed.
As this is an intuited knowing, and not conceptual knowing, it is not a belief or understanding. It cannot be taught or learned or pointed out.
You know this edgeless seamless intoxicating wondrous beauty, that is why you recognize your heart in these songs.
You recognize this vast spacious emptiness without space or emptiness.
But beauty, like life, cannot be captured as there is no you separate from it.
A glimpse of this seamless slipperiness, all encompassing emptiness may terrify some and feel wondrous to others, but mostly likely one feels both, drawn to it and fearing it at the same time.
All attempts to be burned in loves flame will, however, make you cold.
There is nothing I can do, nothing I can share… all that happens is that I love to sing of it even though it can never be kissed with words.
These songs may ignite a fire in your heart, fan the flames and block all the exits.




 

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