Saturday, December 10, 2016

Unmani - Freedom With..., Not Freedom From...

On the spiritual path we tend to be waiting or hoping for a time when we will be free from all pain and suffering, or any unpleasant and unwanted experiences. We might have picked up ideas about how it should be or how you should feel, when you are 'awakened', or 'free'. We take any uncomfortable sensations as 'proof' that I haven't got it yet, and hope for a 'one day' when it will all be cleaned up, and be perfectly peaceful, without any human disturbances. And even if your hopes and dreams are not that extreme, there can still be the idea that there is something, however small, still missing, based on the ever-critically high standards of thought. There can be the belief that I will only be truly free, when I am free from my whole list of 'faults'. This is what leads us to spend so much time and energy, in trying to control, fix, heal, improve, become, and more. We are so busy with this endless effort to clean it all up, that we overlook the simple fact that in putting so much effort into a future dream, we are imprisoning ourselves even more.
Real Freedom does not need it all to be cleaned up. The Freedom that you are, is the freedom that includes it all just as it is. It is the freedom to be a mess. It is the freedom to be human. It is not dependent on everything being cleaned up, or there being no human conditioning, emotions, thoughts or sensations.  Real freedom is not dependent on a particular experience or state, in order to be free.
This means that there is nothing to wait for or hope for in the future. There is no 'one day' when you will be free. There is no mummy or daddy out there that will grace you with the gift of freedom in reward for your efforts. Freedom is here right now. Truly acknowledging that, can seem frightening because it means letting go of your need to be free. Letting go of your identity of someone who is working hard to be free. Losing your hopes and dreams, and coming back down to earth.
This is the Freedom with, whatever is here right now. Freedom with the highs and the lows. Freedom with all the seeming prisons. Even if it feels uncomfortable. Even if it doesn't fit your ideas about how it should be. Even if it doesn't feel free. Freedom includes it all, and is not disturbed by anything that happens. No matter what happens, this is never proof that you are not free. The thinking can never understand this kind of freedom. It doesn't make sense. It is too free to make sense.


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