Nancy Neithercut - A sigh of love

 

The idea of 'happiness' or 'love'
was beginning to seem
like a dream
that would never ever come,
and yet my desire for love
pierced me deeply
and ripped me  
shredded me
and emptied my dreams
of love and magic and time
until there  was nothing left,
not even a skeleton’s dance

Awakening is not
a walk in the park.
I kept looking and looking
for what could  
never ever be found …
a better moment...
another moment...
all my dreams of  what life
or love should be like
started to crumble.
It just kept smacking me
in the face
… over and over and over again,
that this is it,
whatever it looked like,
I had no control over thoughts
feelings
sensations...
of life itself.

I realized that all perception
no matter what it looks or feels like
happens all by itself...
and that all  perception
and its inseparable recognition
arises equally and evenly
without  doing a thing...
simply 'out of the blue'
thoughts
sensations
feelings
arise
and spontaneously,
without any effort or non effort
there is a recognition of them,  
and it dawned
hitting me like a freight train,
that I had never been separate
from  what's going on.

In the end there was
not even nothing left.
Not even  emptiness...  
and there was not even
a me to be empty.  
And a sigh of love rushed in.
Caressed me
found me,
animating my
empty shadow
dancing
in the dark
in the wake
of loves demise…

 

 

https://nancyneithercut.substack.com/

 

 

St Therese of Lisieux - Joy

 

"I learned from experience that joy does not reside
in the things about us,
- but in the very depths of the soul,
That one can have it in the gloom of a dungeon,
- as well as in the palace of a king."

 

 Who is St Therese?

 

 

Kavi Jezzie Hockaday - Un-moor your boat

 

You have moored your boat
On the safe part of the river
And, for a time, it has been fine

Now there is a longing to know
What lies further down stream
A thirst for adventure
And a deep desire for the ocean

But you have been moored for a long time
And there is fear of the unknown
What if there are rapids
Or even a huge waterfall
What if you should capsize and drown
What huge discomfort this brings up

Maybe it is better to stay moored up in the safety
Even though it no longer brings any juice to life
And the longing, the thirst, the desire, remains
And seems to grow every day

Oh what a conundrum, a puzzle, a mystery…

Friend, cast off the ropes and throw them upon the shore
You won’t be needing them again
Un-moor your boat like the warrior you are
Deep in your heart
Set sail, face the river, surrender and surf
Meet what comes as it comes
Be done with your fearful imagination
Live in this day, here, now
You have more capacity than you know
But you cannot discover it
Until you un-moor and set sail.

 

 

HERE 

 

 

 

 

Nancy Neithercut - Awakening, Reflections

 

Awakening is the deepest intimacy
as your own love has ravished you,
skinned you alive,
and ripped out your heart,
your love and your life,
until there is no one to have a life.  
Or love…

All that's left is the dance of one of two of none...
streaming moving and standing utterly still
without a ground or goal or place to be,
singing vibrantly
silently
a mad passionate dance
of you of me of we.
 
It is like love,
this beautiful homelessness.
This feeling of soaring
skinless as the wind.
This vibrant rushing
roaring
sublime perfection
breathing my heart song.

Life and love continue
to sail across a vast ocean of tears
as the sunset reflects its beautiful
beautiful oranges and reds
on my sky lined face...

Never born
never dying
Always born
always dying 

 

 Nancy Neithercut, from her book,

 "To Kiss What Cannot Be Kissed...: Love songs from the canyon"

 

substack 

 

 

Henry Miller - A traveler on the road to nowhere

 

I have a theory that the moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself. I have tried this experiment a thousand times and I have never been disappointed. The more I look at a thing, the more I see in it, and the more I see in it, the more I want to see. It is like peeling an onion. There is always another layer, and another, and another. And each layer is more beautiful than the last.
This is the way I look at the world. I don't see it as a collection of objects, but as a vast and mysterious organism. I see the beauty in the smallest things, and I find wonder in the most ordinary events. I am always looking for the hidden meaning, the secret message. I am always trying to understand the mystery of life.
I know that I will never understand everything, but that doesn't stop me from trying. I am content to live in the mystery, to be surrounded by the unknown. I am content to be a seeker, a pilgrim, a traveler on the road to nowhere. 

 

 

 wikipedia

 

 

J. Krishnamurti - Unadorned naked awareness

 

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠.
𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠.
Thinking is a movement, a motion.
Being is the silence that precedes the motion.
You cannot see it, you cannot grasp it because you are it.
The unadorned naked awareness that is always there, rarely heeded,
is what you have always been, always will be.
Cannot not be.
You can't look for it because it is what is looking.
It is like space, you can't see it but everything is in it.
Everything is it.