Sooner or later we will all
experience the tragic quality of life. Perhaps this quality of life is
brought to us through illness, or the death of a loved one, or losing a
job, or an unexpected accident, or having your heart broken. But we will
all experience this tragic quality of life in both small and
overwhelmingly large ways over the span of our lives. Whether we want to
face it or not, life, with all of its beauty, joy, and majesty, also
has a tragic element to it. This is exactly what the Buddha saw, and it
inspired his entire spiritual search.
It seems that most people
look for various ways to escape from this tragic quality of life, but
ultimately to no avail. There is no escaping it. And it must be faced
sooner or later. The question is, when we are faced with this aspect of
life, how do we respond? Surely, to avoid it only leads to denial,
fantasy, life-numbing withdrawal, cynicism, and fear. It takes great
courage to face the totality of life without withdrawing from it or
trying to protect ourselves from it.
Paradoxically, to face the
totality of life we must face the reality of death, sorrow, and loss as
well. We must face them as unavoidable aspects of life. The question is,
can we face them directly without getting lost in the stories that our
mind weaves about them? That is, can we directly encounter this tragic
quality of life on its own terms? Because if we can, we will find a
tremendous affirmation of life, an affirmation that is forged in the
fierce embrace of tragedy.
At the very heart and core of our
being, there exists an overwhelming yes to existence. This yes is
discovered by those who have the courage to open their hearts to the
totality of life. This yes is not a return to the innocence of youth,
for there is no going back, only forward. This yes is found only by
embracing the reality of sorrow and going beyond it. It is the courage
to love in spite of all the reasons to not love. By embracing the tragic
quality of life we come upon a depth of love that can love “in spite
of” this tragic quality. Even though your heart may be broken a thousand
times, this unlimited love reaches across the multitude of sorrows of
life and always triumphs. It triumphs by directly facing tragedy, by
relenting to its fierce grace, and embracing it in spite of the reflex
to protect ourselves.
In the end, we will either retreat into
self-protection, or acknowledge the reality of sorrow and love anyway.
Such love not only transcends life and death, it is also made manifest
in life and death. You give yourself to life out of love, and it is to
love more fiercely that you walk through the fires of sorrow that forge
the heart into boundless affection.