The surging of hope and hopelessness, joy and flatness, anxiety and rest.
The shakiness and uncertainty in your belly.
The tightness in your throat.
The raw breaking inside your heart.
The sense that a miracle is here, just beyond the veil, but how to reach it?
How to fully show up and participate here, and be fully alive?
What is truly being asked of you?
All the techniques, the teachings, the things to manifest, the new beliefs to take on,
the worn-out ideas about who you are and why you’ve come here, about where the true source of meaning and peace will come.
The questions that once had answers… only a tenderness remains,
with no sign of resolution.
Only a burning where the questions once existed.
An old vision seems to be dissolving, but what will it be replaced with?
There is no life without the willingness to fully participate in the shattering and the death of an ancient dream.
No life without embodiment to the vulnerability as it surges
in its eternal forms within you.
Perhaps it was never resolution you were after, but pure surging life.
As we open our hearts on this new day, in awe at the gift that has been given…
as we gaze up into the lunar holding, into the mountains, the muddy earth,
into the eyes of those around us…
today was never going to be the day when we figured it out,
got all our questions answered,
or resolved the unprecedented activity of love.
It is just too creative for all that. What you are is too wild for that.
Today may not be the day for answers, but to let your heart break open
to the vastness of the question.
To fall to the ground as a humble lover of the mystery.
The heartbreak found here is not a mistake or error that needs to be corrected.
It does not need to be shifted into something else, for it is pure and complete on its own.
It is not a project that needs to be solved, but a portal to step through at the threshold of the sacred world.
This longing, this burning, this uncertainty… these are your only scriptures now.
