Friday, March 27, 2015

Suryanarayana Raju - On Self Inquiry

art  Jane Adams

The mind cannot do self-inquiry, because whatsoever the mind does will strengthen it. Any doing on the part of the mind makes the mind stronger. So self-inquiry by the mind is impossible. Mind doing something means mind perpetuating itself and that is not in the nature of things. But self-inquiry happens through watching the mind, not by doing anything.

The watcher is separate from the mind; it is deeper than the mind, higher than the mind. The watcher is always hidden behind the mind. A thought passes, a feeling arises — who is watching this thought? Not the mind itself — because mind is nothing but the process of thought and feeling. The mind is just the traffic of thinking. Who is watching it? When you say, “Fear has arisen in me,” who are ‘you’? To whom has the thought of fear arisen? Who is the container? The thought of fear is the content — who is the container?
Consciousness (awareness) is like an empty paper. Mind is like a written, printed paper. Whatever exists as an object inside you, whatever you can see and observe, is the mind. The perceiver is not the mind, the observed is the mind.

So if you can simply go on observing, watching, witnessing without condemning, without in any way creating a conflict with the mind, without indulging it, without following it, without going against it, if you can simply be there indifferent to it, in that indifference self-inquiry happens; when the watcher arises, the witness is there, mind simply disappears.

Mind exists with your cooperation or your opposition. Both are ways of cooperating — opposition too! When you fight with the mind, you give energy to it. If you really fight you have accepted the mind, in your very fighting you have established the power of the mind over your being. So whether you cooperate or you oppose, in both cases the mind becomes stronger and stronger. Just watch. Just be a witness. And, by and by, you will see gaps arising. A thought passes, and another thought does not come immediately — there is an interval. In that interval is peace. In that interval is love. In that interval is all that you always seek — but never find. In that gap, you are no longer an ego. In that gap you are not defined, confined, imprisoned. In that gap you are vast, immense, huge! In that gap you are one with existence — the barrier does not exist. Your boundaries are not there any longer. You melt into existence and the existence melts in you. You start overlapping.

This happens if you go on watching without getting attached to these gaps either… because that is our nature, to get attached to these gaps. If you start yearning for these gaps… because they are tremendously beautiful, they are immensely blissful and it is natural to get attached to them, and desire arises to have more and more of these gaps — then you will miss them, then your watcher has disappeared. In that way those gaps will again disappear, and again the traffic of the mind will be there.

So the first thing is to become an indifferent watcher. And the second thing is to remember that when beautiful gaps arise, don’t get attached to them, don’t start asking for them, don’t start waiting for them to happen more often. If you can remember these two things — when beautiful gaps come, watch them too, and keep your indifference alive — then one day the traffic simply disappears with the road, they both disappear. And there is tremendous emptiness. That’s what Buddha calls ‘Nirvana’ — the mind has ceased. This is what I call suicide — but mind has not committed it. Mind cannot do it. You can help it to happen or you can hinder it; helping it to happen depends on you, not on your mind. Anything the mind does will always strengthen the mind. So self-inquiry is not really an effort of the mind. Real meditation is not effort at all.

Real self-inquiry (Nija Vicharana) is just allowing the mind to have its own way, and not interfere in any way whatsoever — just remain watchful, witnessing. It silences, by and by, it becomes still. One day it is gone. You are left alone. That aloneness is what your reality is. And reality is beginning less and endless. The mind has a beginning and an end, hence the mind and reality cannot meet. The mind cannot comprehend the eternal. Reality is simply the loss of ego. Destroy the ego by seeking its identity. Because the ego is no entity it will automatically vanish and reality will shine forth by itself. And in that aloneness nothing is excluded, remember it. In that aloneness everything is included — that aloneness is God. That purity, that innocence, uncorrupted by any thought, is what Self is.

No comments:

Post a Comment